No I understand pat ... I just don't want to go back to what I was like ...to the point that I could only go to t if someone else took me.

I didn't go out at all ...not even to go see my son at my mom's ... My ex would have to get him most times to "visit" me ..and that wasn't even often cuz i was so sick at the time.

I guess I have this fear I might be going "backwards"