I've spent years questioning if I was depressed or not because I felt better sometimes if I was with friends, because I could keep moving if I had to, and basically because I wasn't suicidal every moment of the day. Therefore didn't get the help I needed.

I went into a day program with other depressed people and realised you could be depressed and still laugh at jokes and be functional enough to get to the program (I can be depressed and get myself to work). Behavioural therapy suggests you do things which you enjoy to raise your mood, and being with people who raise your mood, as you have done already. i.e. you can be depressed and there will still be things you can enjoy. Another thing is to appreciate yourself for each small thing you achieve, because when you're depressed small things are an achievement.

Have you talked to a doctor or your therapist about this? You may feel like you're faking it to them, I still question myself. It sounds like meds could help.