So I know guys can have nights where theyre just not in the mood. Granted it doesnt happen very often lol but Im sure its possible. Well I have extremely low self esteem and take "Im not in the mood right now" as rejection. Then I start flipping out that he doesnt want me etc... All the crazy girlfriend stuff. So then because I flip out he gets scared to tell me how hes feeling because he doesnt want to upset me. So then well try to have sex if hes not in the mood or tired and it just doesnt work out (for obvious reasons) and then I feel even worse than if he had just said no. So basically Im just in a vicious cycle. I flip because he doesnt want to have sex once. Because I flip it makes him distance himself from me which makes him not in the mood more often which makes me flip more often.

He told me that I need to figure out how to change the way I feel about myself before our relationship is ruined. Im extremely insecure and always worry that he doesnt want me. He could call me cute and sexy all day long and I would still worry that he's only saying it to make me feel good, not because he believes it. He says that everything I think about myself, he thinks the opposite but I can't seem to make myself see it that way. No matter what I do I always think to myself "man Im ugly" every time I look in the mirror. I dont know how to change how I view myself physically. And I don't want it to turn into him hiding talking to girl friends because hes afraid of how Ill react even if theres nothing going on.

I just dont know how to take 21 years of hating myself and change it?