Hi Doesitend...

The above would be like a mechanic refusing to look at your car until it was running perfectly...Can't understand that one..I would certainly seek another opinion..

Have you resolved your "care" for this young man. It would seem that might impede any progress on your part..

Relationships are by their very nature are complex and yours has evolved quite so. If you value it,,and it seems you do by your wonderfully honest declaration, I think you both will need the help of a competent professional to weed through recent events. I think these events are symptoms of much deeper issues that need to see the light of day..

Please don't hate your life,,,we all find ourselves in places where our challenges are formidable..overcoming them is what builds our compassion.

Keep us posted..we care...

Lenny