Pretty much everything. This decorating my bedroom is really hard (not just because of J) I just don't like that it's changing... even though I don't like how it is. I don't know how to explain. We haven't started it yet either, yesterday my mum stripped one of the walls whilst I was with the littlies and I don't like it, my heads all over the place and I got panicky.
About plans changing... that's a BIG one. Like yesterday I planned to go help out with the littlies and then go to my local with K. K phoned me when I came out of the school saying her sister had invited us to go see a band and could we do that instead... I started panicking, felt so sick... locked myself in car.... and that's a 'change' that I can 'control'. I can decide.
If it's something that change and I have to do it it's a lot, lot worse.
But then there are little things too... like if I'm meant to be eating at a certain time or whatever... if something happens that changes that... really anxious!
I'm really anxious just thinking of all this.

oh... and thanks for the advice on the book... Ill go check it out.
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Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter