Asked my brother to go to the city with me, went and shaved and showered came out he said no. I was alone on thanksgiving day. As a choice to hurt myself, yet I feel it was the depression. And being "used" to it. T is still on her trip , god if only I could call up her office today and talk to her......what a difference that'd make......but she's gone having fun in her own life....all I have to communicate with her is a journal and some messages I left to her. If anyone else is as lonely as I, I feel your pain for words can't describe it....only hope can define it.

Dustin