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Old Nov 28, 2008, 04:07 PM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vulnerome View Post
Bit of background:

Have always had a dissociative tendency, and in the past few years have been quite flickery at times, but for the most part this just results in leaving, coming to in strange places, finding otherwise inexplicable things in my flat, or hearing reports of uncharacteristic conversations. A few times have ended up in a right mess, which was truly terrifying, but balanced by the fact that I somehow got myself off to A&E (your ER). Because of the dangerous incidents have always gone to great lengths to ground myself and stay in myself.

Have never gone into another person, merely left myself.

However, when I was a teenager I created a pseudo-alter. She was called Lucy and was a very strong character. She was just for me, not to feign DID in front of others, and when I was her in public she'd have just seemed ultra-confident and thrill seeking. She got too powerful, too real, so I killed her off, not without some struggle. A year or so ago she made herself known again, which spooked me not a little, but promptly vanished so thought little of it until she let me know she was still there just last week.

More alarmingly a young girl really did come out last night - not a pseudo, but a real person. I was super fragile, overwrought, exhausted and scared when she appeared. Something triggered her to come out into a situation that was wholly inappropriate for a nine year old, and placed her in a very vulnerable and dangerous situation. There was nothing I could do to stop it. She gave her name as my name, but I somehow know that we do not share a name - she was hiding something.

Hoping it was just a one off thing, but really disturbed that a child came out to protect me and would love some advice on getting stronger so that she no longer has need to place herself in danger. She handled it better than I would have, but no child should ever have to be there.

Just makes me feel sad, or funny, or something, and yeah. Advice would be cool.
You say you are not DID but I would say you are definitely in the dissociative scale somewhere. Many people go into denial about it. I have looked through some of your threads and you have been in therapy before. It would be a good idea to explore this a little further with a therapist.

((((((( vulnerome )))))))
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