i've rehearsed this post over and over again in my head coz im so afraid to be put down or not accepted, people to think im a pain, in the way...im only looking at a computer screen at home on my own but im blushing...its stupid. somedays it seems all i feel is the urge to cut, to get rid of what i feel inside. to look in the mirror somedays is a mistake i hate what i see from bottom to top, side to side. i seem to spend everyday thinking people must just be keeping up appearences, teachers, friends, family just wanting, wishing i would go away so they could stop being fake 2 me. i know this is paranoia but it feels so real..... i dont think cutting is my only issue food and me is not something i like to talk about, sometimes the feeling is just to throw it all up again but i havent given in yet...im sorry to say all this to a load of strangers but i needed someone, even just one person to listen to me but its a pretty sad state of affairs when the only people who could listen to me are over the internet and could live millions of miles away, i just dont know where to go to look for support anymore.
im so sorry. xxx