ST, it sounds like your mom is probably toxic so to get anything normal out of her is probably a long shot. I can see why you would be angry. You didn't have functional parents and to make it worse you had to take care of them........

I hear you needing your mom to understand and finally give you what you need but that probably isn't going to happen. You can still heal though, just like many of us here, even though our parents never turned around.....