Hi all,
I'm new here , as you can probably tell... I desperately needed somewhere to go as I know I have depression as I was diagnosed with it years ago by a doctor but never got any treatment for it and I think it's gotten worse and I don't know what to do because I try to tell my family and they don;t want to accept the fact that I've got depression. My mom tries to say it's the "blues" and everyone gets down sometimes,etc,etc blah blah blah... I've tried talking to her and even requesting help but my heathcare provider/whoever it was...I don;t remember....wanted to take all these kinds of tests on me,take blood and I didn't want to.Then they said they couldn't diagnose me or treat me for it that I'd have to go somewhere else so I just gave up and never went. I've always felt down and sad and empty and lonely and..the list can go on... since a very young age,like since 7th or 8th grade and it got worse in high school. Like I said, I was diagnosed with depression, I believe at the time it was not serious but all in all it was depression and the doctor wanted to give me meds but again my mom said no. This was when I was 18. I feel it has gotten worse over the years. I'm 32 now. I just don't know what to do or how to do it! My life feels like it's going nowhere.My girlfriend doesn't know I feel this way and I don't wish to tell her in fear of her breaking up with me. We get into fights alot lately and I find that that is adding to the depression.I feel like this pretty much every day,all day.Sometimes I feel kind of alright/happy but it's short-term.I notice it worsens when we fight or if someone or something goes wrong or yells at me/fights,etc. I also have bad neck and back pain,trouble sleeping,loss of appetite and just don;t feel right.I feel like I'll never amount to anything and my life is a failure....and I'm getting more depressed now talking about it....... Any help would be greatly appreciated but if noone can,that's cool too, I'm used to it.bye