Are you in some kind of counseling or therapy? It might be a good idea to find a more stronger sense of yourself so you don't rely so much on him to provide you with your self-esteem.

I'm speaking from experience--you do not want to make yourself too dependent on your man. You diminish yourself as a person & in his eyes, too. He'll see you as "less" of a person. You want to be strong. And sometimes you have to let him go, if he is not respecting you enough to even answer your calls.--Suzy