Hi Jacqui, I'm so happy you came back and posted some more. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. I can relate to so much of what you've said here and it reminds of how difficult those times are. I too, had to cancel out on so many things because I just couldn't pull myself together enough to face it. Yeah, there are times you can fake it if the cycle isn't too intense, but it's draining none-the-less. There have been times for me that I did stay under the covers for a week, peee yoooo, lol. Not pretty. I also understand that feeling of being on a rollercoaster, fortunately, mine has slowed down for the most part. I've been rather manic the last few days, gosh it feels so good, ya know? But then I have to remind myself...what goes up, must come down, so I'm taking precautions for that and preparing myself and my life for the inevitable...a soft place to fall, so to speak.

I would really like to hear more about your situation Jacqui, like, are you on meds? what type of bp do you have, I or II? How long have you been bp? Are you in therapy? I hope I'm not being too nosy, you are under no obligation to answer these questions, I would just like to be in a position to be here for you as best I can.

Don't feel bad about the cancellations, it happens, period. We've all been there. Even ppl who aren't bp cancel out on engagements once in a while. Right now you just need to be taking care of you. I also think it's wonderful that you have your husband there to support you and take care of things when you're unable to. I hope that he is understanding of what you're going through, or at the very least empathetic.
I'll be here for you if you need me. TgrsPurr.