Troy, you are scared and angry from these stories and secrets. It is causing you pain and having you keep others at a distance. I do see one positive here. Because you wear your heart on your sleeve these things don't need to be mined to get at them. This is how I am. My therapists were very happy that stuff just spilled out. Those with their hearts on their sleeves are quick to attract love. I'm sure that you have noticed how easily people fall in love with you (I'm talking about a friendship level of love here!)