Hello,
I'm new to this site and I'm basically looking for a support group, or just to seek advice and talk with people who acutally understand me. I recently went to the DR and was prescribed Zoloft for anxiety/depression and OCD. I can't pinpoint one thing it's many! Basically my fear and anxiety have become obsessive, which leads me to such low depression I often feel there's no way out. Nobody understands except my therapist who cannot be there all the time, I need to toughen up and get thru this.

I have driven away many poeple I care about because I accuse them of things that I have basically created in my mind and for whatever reason can't get rid of the thoughts. I have accused a few of boyfriends of cheating on me with my friends, even though I logically know it didnt' happen, they barely know eachother and the thought comes from no where! A story I hear about someone else's life, a dream and fear. I create this and therefore I ruin my realtionships by constant questioning which drives people away of course. People say if you know your doing it then stop! If it were that easy to erase these thoughts from my head and get over it I would.

I realize this sounds so stupid. Now all my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm still going thru many relationships. I get to a point at about 8 or 9 months where I just feel weak. I know they control my heart and I let me fear of what could happen destroy me and my happiness.

Currently I've been dating someone great for 9 months, the past 2 have been hard though my anxiety has set in and I'm afraid he sneaks into my roomates room when I'm sleeping. I have no reason to think this, no signs I've never woken up and he's been gone he's barely here and he barely knows her. She's a good friend of mine and woulnd't do this she has a serious boyfriend who she loves and he I don't think he wouldn do this. Where does this come from, I'm losing him if I havent' lost him already becuase of the accusations that come from nowhere!

I'm embarassed, and sad and alone because I realize I"M DOING THIS TO MYSELF! I ruin everything I'm so depressed and lost. No one understands I can't afford to see my therapist more than once every 2 weeks, please help me is there someone else out there that gets what I'm doing?