Hello need2bhappy, it's nice to meet you. I understand what you are talking about these kind of thoughts have haunted me for quiet some time now. Please remember that they are just thoughts, just because you think it doesn't make it so, my way of coping is not to make accusations which has been a big struggle for me. I have been married for 11 years and this has come up for me several times, I have always been able to resist actually accusing him of anything but it still has it's effect. I have shared how I am feeling with him and been pretty open about the feelings and he has been very supportive of me when I am struggling.
I think that you have found the right place, this is a very supportive online community with a lot of nice people as members. If you have any questions or need anything at all feel free to pm me or any of the other community liaisons or moderators. Take your time and check out all our features and jump in whenever you feel comfortable.