it's like you're reading my mind, Sannah... people do like me, even when I try to avoid giving them reason to do so. There are many who would go further if I gave them any indication that I am available. It's easy to see in the eyes and the double entendre.

I'm glad you tell me the reason, because it is very uncomfortable for me, both those who would be friends and those who would be more. I dont know how to handle either, so I do or say things that hold them at arms length.

Many ppl go so far as to think we are friends, but it is a one way street. I seldom even remember their names. I usually keep a smile on for them and reply to their conversation, but in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, why are they telling me this, it's like they confuse me for someone who cares.

Those who would go further are serious. It's as though they need something from me - and I just don't have anything to give them. If it's the physical connection they want, they can get that anywhere. If it's the emotional connection, my tank is empty.

And the secrets - these are my stories, most are not to be shared. Others have their own stories, and if they don't - they need to go out and get some. It's easy to get the abuse, the experience, the adventure in this life that will give stories unlimited. Why do they want my stories? What will I be if I give them up?