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hi going2be happy and welcome to pc.com. i do not share the same exact problem but i do have some wild thoughts that can bother me occasionally and make me miserable.
i have one idea that you may want to try. something you could do between visits to your therapist.
cognitive dissonance is fancy psych speak for lies in our thoughts that create pain and problems for us. what you go through is definitely c.d. there are books and information online about how to handle this problem of haunting lies that torment. i don't know an exact place to steer you, but you can learn how to retrain your mind. you can learn to challenge the incorrect information and require your mind to tell the truth to you. it will a genuine help to you and the more you learn how to do it the more it can help you counteract the lies and put the truth in its place!
I do sympathize but to one extent or another we ALL have to learn how to deal with the lies in our thoughts. for you this is just harder than for some other people - but NOT impossible!!! Hang in there, it IS going to get better!
leslie and the pixies
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