Hello jen1017, it's nice to meet you.

I agree with the others you are not alone having these kind of thoughts, to me it seems to come in cycles of being real bad. My therapist always tells me not to get sucked into the cyclone by just letting the thoughts be just that thoughts, noticing what they are and letting them pass in there own time. This is something that I really struggle with, sometimes I have to just practice good self care, doing things for myself basically anything to relax me sometimes I can get so wrapped up in enjoying myself I can pull myself back out of the mess.

Welcome to psychcentral, this is a very supportive place I hope you find it as helpful as I do.