I'm tired...so very tired of struggling with this...tired of trying to cope with the losses in my life and trying to get better... I keep hearing that it will get better and I keep working toward that but it hasn't gotten much better. I'm letting the people down that I love and care about and nothing seems to change. The thought of going into another year in this state is getting to me. I try to make progress but when I take two steps forward...I take two steps back again and it seems futile! I'm dying a slow death and I'm destroying the lives of the people around me in the process, particulary my dd. Every night I just wish not to wake up the next day and I do. What a life this is...