Quote:
Originally Posted by cantstopcrying
That's the part of you that will always love her. She will always always have a special place in your heart. Before you decide to see her, try to focus on the things she has said and done recently. Please try to hold her accountable for them, for you are a caring, loving and sensitive human being, not just something for her to pass the time with when she has nothing else to do. I don't want that to sound cruel, but so often it happens that the person who did the leaving knows that the one who was left is vulnerable and still has feelings, so they use that to their advantage. I just don't want to see that happen to you. I guess basically I'm saying if you agree to see her, do it with your eyes wide open....and definately do not base your whole day on seeing her. Base your whole day on you and your kids and on making you healthy and on making them kids laugh and feel loved.  |
i spent the day with my family, tried to have fun, played some guitar for my mom and family. been playing constantly lately. helps me keep from attacks, calms me down, makes my brain think and distracts me. i went to see her,my x, it was so confusing. we were at the house that our relationship first started. felt like the beginning, i was nervous she was distant, didnt know how to read her. we watched some movies, went from sittin next to eachother to my arm on her leg then holding hands then she put my arm around her, im holding her now , thinking yea we are gong in the right direction. we talk, i tell her ive been in a string of bad relationships, one hurt after the next, and i kept going back kept trying kept thinking if i take the hurt and show her eneough she will know i really care. then i met her. she never hurt me she loved me unconditionally if there was one thing i coulld count on it was that she loved me. told her im not used to that , scared the hell out of me. i was waiting for something bad to happen. maybe i put her at a distance in fear of being hurt. she says we have switched rolls, she was chasing me and now im chasing her. says we are only friends now thats all it can be. i want to cry, get up and leave. but i cant. shes spending time with me it says she cares,at least in my worped world. two weeks ago she wouldnt talk to me, so im im doing good. then we start talking about sex, and how great it was. i grab her start kissing her and things start to happen. she says we can do this but you have to know we are just friends, and you can not tell me you love me. it happens, and we fall asleep in eachothers arms.today we text each other several times but just how you doing, nothing serious. so i decide to tell her that i know how she feels, she knows how i feel and im going to take a step back and see if she takes a step forward, if not then maybe its just not to be, but i will always be there for her no matter what she needs. she said thank you, and good night for now. im so confused, im so anxious. i took twice the xanax i have been the last few days and im still a wreck. im just not sure what to do. i guess ill stick by my word and take a step back. am i doing the right thing?