Thank You Wanttoheal....No, I'm not in therapy. I was raised in the kind of family that didn't believe in therapy, each generation carried the same motto on to the next "you made your bed, you sleep in it". Even throughout the abuse it was expected for me to endure it and "ride it out" because divorce meant failure. I never could understand this sort of thinking and eventually rejected it.
I did seek out therapy half a dozen times in secret, thinking at the time the problem was *me*, as most abusers lead us to believe.
Instead, I was given Haldol by a psychiatrist who thought I was psychotic after telling him what I went through on a daily basis. I had a bad reaction and ended up in the hospital. I was young and didn't question why I was being given this drug, it was only after the Doctor in the ER told me what it was for did I realize, and I never took Haldol again.
Another time I showed up at one of those sliding scale mental health clinics and saw a psychologist. My ex had set my hair on fire and I didnt have the money to have it recut, so it was still singed a few days later and choppy where I had tried to recut it myself. The T didnt notice or comment on my appearance until I asked him. His response was "well, sometimes people will go to extremes to get attention." Needless to say, I was angry, hurt, and never went back to him. When I finally left my husband, I went to 2 meetings run by a women's shelter. As I sat in the group sessions, all I wanted to do was leave...I just wanted to move on and no longer dwell on what I had been through. I wanted to put it all behind me and listening to one of the women there say she loved and missed her husband (although she had endured much of the same as I had) was just too much for me at the time. I had worked up a real hatred of my husband and was ashamed of what I had allowed to happen to me and my children. I felt disgusted that these women were crying about thier abusers. I had no tears left and no patience for any so-called reason why a man would do that to the woman he is supposed to "love". I didn't care to understand, I just wanted it all to go away.
When my children and I all were together again we had a "honeymoon" period that lasted throughout the rest of thier childhood and teen years. They thrived and seemed so happy that I thought therapy would only take away from the new life they were embracing. New home, new friends, happy family holidays and vacations, lots and lots of love. Maybe I should have done more, probably should have, but at the time I think I was in alot of denial and my past experiences with therapy colored my decisions.

Thank you Wanttoheal for all you said, I can see some of your story in pieces of my own and it helps. On a good note, I know my daughter loves me and we will fix this problem. I have faith in love and I wont give up on her, not ever.