Oh be I just love you! thank you.. you are so right in that I need to come off slowly. It is hard because i have to keep this somewhat hidden as my family would pull stunts on me if they knew. I am going to try to come off with the help of PC and the help of local AA/NA crisis lines, and failing that I will turn to the doc, though i really do not want to.

I am feeling better, thankfully, but still very convinced that i want OFF this ride.