I do not have an Rx for this medication. I do have some short-acting Propranolol that I was Rx for high anxiety situations, however I did not disclose this in my consult with the surgeon or the Pre-surgery evaluation. I actually forgot about it because I've only used it a few times.

OMG this would be great!!! This is how I cope with the waiting room at my therapist office when I am stressing. I might see about getting this approved for at least before and after surgery. I believe I am going to be put totally out for the procedure. I've never had this before so it is adding to my anxiety a bit.

As for talking to my surgeon, I would prefer not to draw more attention to myself. I've only met him once, no relationship with him, I was referred to him last week. He is doing a bunch of surgeries that day, he is likely only going to see me as I am wheeled in the OR.

Maybe I will tell the nurses I'm just a B and I would appreciate it if they just leave me alone as much as possible. I don't want them thinking I am a psycho-freak, I just want them to leave me alone. I wish they could just wheel me into a corner and let me tend to myself.

I see my T tomorrow but I am not sure I want to discuss this in detail. It is not that I want to hide it, because she knows I have this issue. It just that sometimes these discussions lead back to other stuff and then I am even more triggered after therapy. I see the value in these discussions, but it usually takes me a few days to settle down and benefit from them. I would have less than 24 hours to rebalance before the procedure. I think in the short term, simply being allowed to withdraw and given as much "space" would be best. I just worry about how I am going to cope with this situation when medicated. I feel a lot of aggression in these situations. Other times when impaired (intoxicated), have become violent when I felt physically threatened. I do not want this to happen.

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'm sure I'll find a way to deal with this--deep breath!