((((((((((((((((((Leslie and the Pixies))))))))))))))))))))))) Maybe it doesn't seem like it to you but you have been adventuring out more since you have joined PC. Maybe not physically but you are gaining so much inner strength in yourself. That is quite an adventure in my book. Possibly now you can look at expanding that to outside issues such as travel, hobbies or whatever you find yourself interested in. I am sorry that you feel so much of your life has been wasted. You have become the warm, compassionate person partially because of your past. Please don't selll yourself short. The "soon" or "later on" or "not now" are things that you can work on. After all you have recognized them now. Maybe try one small thing and build on it. Maybe pick the thing that you most want to do and feel capable of doing right now. Then another and another until you feel more satisfied with your life. You are not out of time; your just beginning. I hope you find some things that bring you happiness.

BB