Usually it is us guys who are informed that "sex isn't all about intercourse." That may be true, but I know it is frustrating!

Try not to pressure him, or yourself, by perceptions of what sex "should" be. If he is having enjoyable orgasms with you by some means, then that is a good start.

Guys have different levels of sensitivity...possibly the amount of stimulation/pressure from intercourse isn't enough, or feels wrong to him...with hand stimulation you can adjust your technique quite a bit, squeeze more or less, etc. If that is the issue, a sexual therapist might suggest exercises or routines to help acclimate him to intercourse.

If he does have a foot fetish, I wonder if there is some way to use that to increase his excitement during intercourse...I'm not sure, as that might require you to be REALLY flexible... But it's worth thinking about!