This is not stupid, and using those types of words only reinforces your feelings of wrong. (It becomes automatic... I understand.)

This is what Ts are good for (among other things) helping us to talk about traumas... over and over and over so that the brain refiles them properly. (Because even though we "know" it isn't happening now, it stays in that file!)

Don't try to suppress the thoughts, that makes them bolder. Allow what you can, and then say, ok it did happen but it isn't happening now. Don't use force, but be gentle with yourself.

You must be under greater stress or such, being triggered more lately... for the dreams to focus so... dreams are one way the brain tries to work through things... but I know that doesn't help you FEEL better..

(((hugs))))