I think a lot of people here can relate to this feeling. I know I can. Often when I have difficult times with the therapy relationship it is because I interpret situations one way and then assume my T is rejecting me. I have learned over time that a lot of that has to do with my expectations, not necessarily her actual feelings.

I think you are completely right that your past experiences make you expect a certain outcome or even crave a certain type of relationship. It sounds like maybe you're trying to make this relationship be more like your past experiences, because that is what you are used to and that is what feels familiar and important/intense to you? I don't have any great advice there, except that the fact that you recognize this pattern is a big deal. The more you recognize this, the more you will probably catch yourself when it's happening, and ask yourself if that's what you really want. Maybe with time you'll start to feel like all those emotionally intense/conflict-filled relationships are just too exhausting, and that a different more supportive, warm, consistent one is nice too? I don't know. But I think you're on the right track with realizing these things about yourself.