Sherryanne, most bipolars go through the exact same thing as you when they get diagnosed. That it IS for life is a scary thought, but that doesn't mean that you'll SUFFER your whole life.

A diagnose IS just words, it doesn't change you, who you are or who you CAN be at all. The only thing it does it that it will help you a lot with getting better. You can't treat an illness if you don't know what you're dealing with, so consider this a fresh start.
Bipolars can, and do, live perfectly normal, healthy lives. Our treatment options are constantly improving and science has come a long way.

You should also know that it's a PHYSICAL disorder, not a mental one (that's why it's for life). So if your family points fingers, you can point back - considering that 90% of us are bipolar because of heritable genetics.

I suggest that you buy the books "Bipolar Disorder for dummies" and "The bipolar disorder survivor guide" for yourself and your family for christmas. They're really good!