Quote:
Originally Posted by turquoisesea
welcome to pc 
I agree with cantstopcrying
I wanted to say, that regardless of the outcome don't feel dumb. Especially online, people can fool you without you noticing. I had an online friendship that turned sour - he wanted more... I look back and he didn't even mean to completely, but at the same time he did.
What I'm saying is, especially online and also in normal situations, unless something is clearly defined there is a possibility for misunderstandings and it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Please, don't blame yourself.
Regret, but lay no blame.
As to what's going on, I can't know. I don't know him. I like cantstopcrying's ideas, of approaching him. Maybe taking the sex out of the picture would be good for you. It's obviously upsetting you right now, and if he really cares for you he'll be ok with it (sad yes, but ok) and if he's just using you... it may become apparent that this is so
just please realize
what happens between the two of you does NOT define who you are
YOU are not bad
YOU are not stupid
YOU are NOT just a sucker
Having sex for the first time - everyone wants to know what it's like so bad. It's not just a mental but a physical pull. You can't blame yourself for wanting it. You cant blame yourself for taking someone at their word. You based your decision on your past experience (erm... no boyfriend before so yes possibility of silly mistakes again NOT YOUR FAULT)
You've done your best in the situation.
Keep doing the best you can.
hugs hugs hugs
I hope all goes well
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Hi turquoisesea
Thank you for your response!
I finally spoke to him last night. He said he got all distant because he got scared we were getting to close to quickly. And that he's not ready for a relationship.
I dont know how it was going 'quickly' when we would only see each other once a week IF that. But ok.
Im kinda angry that he allowed us to do the sex stuff - knowing full well i haven't before. He would have been aware that he wasn't ready for a relationship - said he had a bad breakup from his last one and is affraid to get close to anyone. And that he has trust issues. i think i already had trust issues before i met him and i hope to god he hasn't made that worse.
He said he still wants to hang out, but not label anything. (as gf/bf).
I dont think i can just 'wait around' for when he's ready though - if he ever will be. He even said he's planning to move over seas to travel/live this time next year. Theres no point. I cant limit myself to him. I turned down a great guy for him (ok the attraction thing wasn't there but it may have over time or whatever).
I know with out a doubt that im feeling this way coz we had sex. to soon. too quickly. If we hadn't it wouldn't be so big.
i gotta move on. right. is it best to 'hate' him for what he did for a while? or is that unhealthy too? or try to believe my first time was with a nice good looking guy? I never thought someone as good looking as him would be interested in someone like me.... He said last night that he couldn't believe no other guys have tried and that im beautiful.
my life has been **** for the past month. my performance at work is dropping, i constantly feel sad, lost interest in everything. at its due to this. i feel overwhelmed with regret.
any tips on helping me to move on would be great? I wasn't in love with him.
i think i need to start trying to get back into my interests. i used to always be doing something. Usually creative stuff, and loved it. i haven't done any for the past month.
thank u. very much appreciate ur responses!