Hi,
I think my experience has a bearing on this.

I used to fall in love with guys who I knew I'd never agree with and then I'd fight and we'd conflict all the time. YET, just before going to meet, I'd feel at total peace, at one with the universe, like I had come home.

Many years later, after years trying to get recovery, I found out it was called 'intrapsychic structure'. The strucure inside me was what i was trying to resolve, so I'd be not content until I was in one of 'those' relationships, yet I'd be destraught with obsession and need when in the relationship. The 'other' would represent part of this structure. The 'structure' involves an internalised 'bad' other. So I needed to meet the representation of this in order to fight, heal or fix this, or resove the conflict after having touched base with the conflict, something that was inconsolable inside that needed resolution.

It was only after naming this disorder and understanding the deeper manifestations of this, that I even began to be able to open the door to recovery.
I'm not saying this is all the same for you, but you may relate to some. I can tell you more about this if you'd like, welcome to pm. me

riverx