Thanks Everybody.
Sorry I didn't get back to this sooner. Between traveling for the holidays and working extra hours I just haven't had time, opportunity or energy...

Things are getting better. We've talked more about this nasty mean thing. I've reiterated my boundary and clarified it some more. Our T has given us both permission to use her voice mail if we need to blow up at someone. Jon's working to identify and express his anger when it first comes up - the longer he holds it, the more it draws from past anger too. We're trying to talk a little every night about how we're doing.

I understand that this isn't really about me. I am just the closest "target". This is mainly anger that he was never "safe" enough to feel (boy, I understand THAT!!). Now he is safe. Now all that crap bubbles to the surface, latches on to some current annoyance, and boils over like a lava flow. In that way, it's different from my rages. I'm a HUGE explosion that's over fairly quickly. His isn't as intense, but it goes on and on and on if I don't get out of the way. Kinda like the difference between Mt. St. Helen and Kilauea. It is good to note that when I DO leave the room, he doesn't follow and by the time I come back, he's back to normal.

On a good note, I had a visit from the guys last night and they're all doing well. Jonny's all excited that he got to meet my niece and nephew, and that we've got the boys for another sleepover Friday. He's been working with J.T. - trying to find him new things to do so J.T. doesn't have to just do the dirty work anymore. And J.T. is trying to communicate with the others more so there aren't as many misunderstandings. Jonathan actually has some "time off" to rest and relax. He's found out that he can be quite the social guy when Jon gets nervous, and that he doesn't have to get stuck as the curmudgeon. Good to see everyone happy, good to see everyone smile.

I hope you are all well.