haha thanks guys. we actually had a talk about it. and since then ive tried to do little things to not be so self conscious. and apparently hes noticed them. the other night we were at a bar and i saw all these little tiny girls in their mini skirts showing off about every square inch of their body and (of course) started to feel like he was only looking at them. then he told me that he had been "all over me" all night but because I was in a bad mood I just hadnt noticed. so i tried to forget about it and make myself have a good time and then it was over. It was like, any other night that would have ruined it for me. I would have hated myself for not being as hot as those other girls but this time it was over in about 5 minutes.

and ever since he has been much more affectionate and the "not in the mood" thing hasnt happened once. I guess it was just really hard for me to see how badly my own self image was ruining my relationship until I changed it even in the slightest bit because now that Im pretty much forcing myself to think im attractive and be more confident, he has done a complete 180. Kisses all the time, all that stuff.

He knows it wont be a "quick fix" but I think its a good cycle. I do one little thing to feel better. Because I feel better, hes more attracted to me, because hes more attracted to me I feel better etc....

Also, I read in another thread on here about a kind of self-help book about raising your self esteem. So I found it on amazon and Im gonna check it out.

Thanks guys