> fears... over not having conflict

So the conflict brings peace?

I have conflicts with my T and can resolve them only when I disagree with him and can tolerate that.

So if you cannot tolerate it then what happens?

I keep my ideas that are different from T's and my perception of him as being less than totally wonderful.

So you feel bad about this?

I am increasingly able to be separate from him.

Because you can disagree with him?

If not, I would start to be submerged in him and lose my own identity which is quite distinct from him.