With better levels of lamictal you actually might not ever feel suicidal again it is also an anti mania med so it helps on both ends of our spectrum....
As far as using the diagnosis as an excuse...When I am truly manic, I have had sexual indescretions, I think I have ruined a couple of marriages before....though not my fault entirely, takes two.etc.
That impulsive, risk taking behavior was bad behavior, even so I would never act that way if I were stable so it is understandable to be able to say that I was responsible for this behavior and helps to understand the additional circumstances that played a part, I was not thinking about the consequences of my behavior and bad chemistry.
bizi
edited to add that I can't comment on your blog because you don't allow anonymous posters....so I jsut commented here on your thread.