HI Silvertear,

you have had a lot to put up with, I think everyone of us has a limit to what we can take on board and maybe you have reached your limit and its time to get some help understanding it and letting it go. its good to come here and get it all out in the open - sometimes that helps you to see what is really going on - I hope you are talking with someone about this - please consider a psychologist or therapist (psychiatrist counciller etc) they can help you to deal with the emotions and give you coping techniques - you need to have somewhere to go when it all gets too much. And this is also a good place to come to vent and get it out of your system

Let us know how you are going take Care P7
p.s., getting emotional and crying is a way of releasing the pain and a therapist would not be thrown by that so dont let that worry you.