HI ne1410s,

what a terrible thing to have happen - I wish i could wash your past away but I cant I am glad that you are now in a place that you like - try to let them in a bit and see if they can help you to heal what you have been through.

My hope is that you are seeing a therapist who can help you deal with this - but know this - you are not alone - you will find this a very supportive place - come here and we will do what we can to help.

As to your past affecting your future - just my opinion but i think unloess you deal with what happened it just keeps coming back til you do - and thats why I would (and in my case did) seek professional help

Take Care P7