salukigirl, you've really made me feel better with this post. I have so much trouble with my own body image and self esteem, and I also feel like I have no real reason to have those thoughts. When you mentioned that you are no longer underweight, but struggle to accept that you're at a healthy weight and not fat, I have the same problem. I'm 5'2 and I bounce between 100 and 105 lbs, so even though a healthy weight for me is between 110 and 120, I still get anxious about being too heavy when I hit 107 on the scale... It doesn't help that people joke about me being their inspiration to throw up after they eat or people always saying "You're so skinny, I want to look just like you!"

But I feel like not just my body image, but my low self esteem in general is starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend of three years. Simply the fact that he's gone further sexually with previous girls he's been with than with me makes me panic and think he doesn't want me and I'm not good enough, pretty enough, anything enough.

My mom recently bought me a book; "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook." I forget who it's by, but I think it'll be pretty helpful for me. I've read the first chapter and the chapter on negative self-talk so far. Negative self-talk is what really gets me, i think, and it sounds like maybe you too. The book has some exercises in it that seem like they'll be helpful as long as I stick with it. I have to realize that years of putting myself down are not going to be reversed in a day. It could take me months or even years to be happy with myself.

Basically, I just wanted to tell you that I hear what you're saying, and I have similar feelings, and your post helped me feel not so... alone, I guess is the word I'm looking for. Thanks

Ro