Okay, here it goes....I am new here, so let me know if this needs to go somewhere else...

I have a problem that has been present almost all of my sexual life, but I am just now addressing it. I CANNOT have an orgasm unless I am using a vibrator and a dildo. Not by way of masterbation, not by intercourse, nothing. I had sex the first time when I was 16 and started using the vibrator at 17. (I am now almost 34, so this has been a long time) I can remember having one orgasm before that during intercourse, and have had maybe two by intercourse since.
I was married at age 18 and never had much interest in sex with my husband because of marital problems, I just wasn't interested, so the occasional orgasm by vibrator wasn't really an issue for me. I just knew that was the only way I could do it. I am since divorced and with the greatest man on earth. My sexual appetite has returned, and he is very supportive of me. He wants me to finish every time we have sex, and is willing to use the vibrator, but I am now finding it's harder and harder to achieve even by my old faithful method. I'm getting frustrated and I find that I am wanting more and more to be able to orgasm during intercourse with him.
I have read a couple of books on the subject...but am skeptical as to whether thier methods will work for me... (if it were as easy as get on top, masterbate and fanticize I would have done that long ago)
Has anyone else conquered this problem? I'm worried that it's been this way so long that it's irreversible. My boyfriend suggests that we throw away the toys but I'm actually terrified to do that. I'm worried I'll never have an orgasm again!! help!!!