I'm off to my psychiatrist! I am telling him I don't want to take Clozaril anymore. I think he'll understand. I hope he will.
But my best friend is going to kill me. She thinks I'll decsend into the depths of madness without it.
I just don't want to put it into my body anymore. Nueroleptics are so toxic and Cloazaril is the strongest most dangerous one out there.
I've been on it for 15 years and I just don't want to do it anymore. It also makes me sleep 12 hours a day.
(When I'm manic I sleep 6 to 8 hours a night. Can you belive that???? What bipolar can say that?????) I don't want to spend the rest of my life sleeping!!!
My mom is OK with it unless I get psychotic symptoms again. But I haven't told my BFF. I hope she understands.
She isn't "menally ill" so it's hard for her.
She also happens to be a clinical psychologist and likes to "diagnose" me.
I love her to death and she has been so supportive to me in my times of need, but I am so extrememly nervous about telling her this.
I am compromising (I'd like to go off meds), I will take a nueroleptic, just not Clozaril.
Gotta go! Wish me luck!