Like Rhapsody so fairly stated,,I don't know if any of us can give you "the" answer to your question vegava but it certainly is worth seeking one...

I would suggest an honest conversation with your wife,,without pressure..asking her to be as honest as she can...

Maybe seeing a third party professional at some point to look at the issue and get some direction..

For some folks it is the chase that is appealing and exciting...once caught,,well its not so edgy anymore...

Welcome...

Lenny