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I agree that no one is a mind reader and expectations should be made perfectly clear. But as stated, some thing should be done automatically. Kids need to be taught to pick up after themselves from toddler on. Some jobs have expanded expectations that my kids are perfectly aware of. For example if it is your turn to do dishes, this includes cleaning off counter tops, stove, sweeping the floor and taking out the trash if necessary. If my kids hear “why didn’t you…” it’s because they have made a decision not to do what they are supposed to.
Don’t forget, we were kids/teens too. Very rarely did my parents expect me to do something that I wasn’t fully aware that it was supposed to be done. If I did not do the chore it was because I was to lazy to do so. And that is what it boils down to, being lazy. Video games, friends, social outings aside, by the time you are a teen you should KNOW what is needed to be done to maintain a home. You know what a vacuum is and how to use it. Granted as a teen you and I may disagree on when it’s needed but if you and a dozen of your friends have tracked through the house to get to the game room, courtesy would dictate that these are your guests and you should clean up after them.
I know you probably don’t want to hear “back in my day” but back in my day if I wanted a special privilege such as staying out late or having a friend spend the night, I would do extra chores before making the request. I do not recall what I wanted to do, but I remember when I was about 12 I decided that I’d wax the kitchen floor to get my mom buttered up for the request. The problem was that I did not sweep properly and created a new 4 hour job for my mom to fix in the mean time.
FYI I rarely “ask” my kids to do anything. I’ve learned that “will you do the dishes” to them means someday. I tell them “it’s time to do the dishes”.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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