Hi Paul,

Being nicer to yourself could mean not beating yourself up for failing. It is all in how you look at it. There are many people that would love to be able to only smoke only one or two cigarettes a day. Be proud.

How about congratulating yourself for smaller parts of a goal? If you are trying to give up coke, you could focus on that until you succeed. (When I gave up caffeine, I had terrible headaches. That was my incentive to never go back) You could allow yourself the enjoyment of two cigarettes a day, guilt free, until you have kicked the coke habit, so you don’t feel so deprived of pleasure while giving up coke. Then work on the cigarettes. You could allow yourself 3 cigarettes every 2 days so you can choose which day to smoke only 1. That gives you control, and if you have two on one day you know you will only have one the next. You will learn that you can succeed at having only one cigarette a day on some days. No reason to beat yourself up. Set a time you will reduce it to only 4 cigarettes every three days, so you can try smoking one a day with one “guilt-free failure" every four days. Set a schedule to further reduce the cigarettes, leaving yourself some control using planned “guilt-free failures". By the time you get to one cigarette every two days, you will learn you can go some days without any cigarettes. Keep on your schedule until you are eventually having none. They may seem like baby steps, but you are teaching yourself control, and you can be proud of each step. Every success makes the next success easier because you get used to succeeding and don't automatically expect failure from your efforts.

I would also suggest skipping the nicotine replacement. At the low rate you are already smoking, I think it is more a psychological than physical addiction. Nicotine in any form is addictive, and you will eventually have to give up the replacement, which may be more difficult than giving up the cigarettes.

Good luck to you. I hope this helps.