Jme,
When I finally sought help for my PTSD, it turned out to be the best thing I ever did for myself. It was also one of the hardest things I ever did
You can do this
I believe in you...

again, jme
I knew I could not continue living the way I was, but I was terrified to face/share/speak out about my experiences in Nam.
Proverbial rock and...
It truly was intense, I went back on high-alert, nightmares intensified, and I wept more easily than ever before...
Honestly? Not much different than what I would go in and out of for weeks or months.
I also became closer to everyone in my group--on par with the closeness I felt with those who served with me. We still stay in touch and get together a couple times a year.
We had access to 24/7 help if things got too rough, and I did use it on occasion.

lostandscared54, one of the best things about the military now is their recognition of PTSD. The efforts they are making is going to help so many soldiers and their families.
Jmo, but "early" treatment may spare you from years of heartache.
My counseling was years after I returned stateside...nurses were not thought of when it came to PTSD. In country nurses were some of the toughest, and I'm one of them.

The mantra Sky suggested is very good. Use it, please.
My own was, " I am all right. I'm home. I am all right."
I needed to feel grounded and these simple words helped. Walking and good nutrition also helped. The exercise was beneficial in many ways! Time alone to process what was going on...I'm fortunate to live close to a lake with a walking trial. Nature is one of my greatest healers so the combo of the lake and walking did a lot to soothe me.
I mentioned nutrition although there were times when my appetite was non-existent...in a nutshell, if your body is running on empty so is your mind and its' ability to listen, learn, understand...heal.

It finally dawned on all of us that we were brave when we were in the midst of the war, we could fall back on that when or if things got worse. It was a beautiful reminder of our strength and of our endurance.

lostandscared54, you said you want treatment. Go For It.
What it might bring will be less than if you don't get treatment...
Please listen to my heart now...this is a chance to get rid of a lot of garbage *before* it lands on your back and screws up your life. You will get through this treatment, you will find a measure of peace, you will be grateful that you did it.

Pm/Email 24/7
Post in Combat PTSD as you feel comfortable
Make use of every bit of support you are offered

You've taken two very big steps already, and I salute your willingness to go forward.
You are accepting the treatment and you posted here about it...you are on your way to good things, brother.

Semper Fi

Cap