Justgiving I am glad you didnt give in and give the "somthing" to someone you didnt want to - it doesnt matter what it was - its good that you stood your ground. If someone has harmed you then you should be the only one to decide when and even if to contact them or forgive them .

As to me, I do understand why the people in my life did what they did and I did try to forgive them and me - but when I say the words they are just that... words with no meaning -

knowing why someone might have done something helps us understand but it doesnt explain to me why one child who is abused goes on to abuse others while another child in the same family doesnt - I still have a lot of anger there - so I guess I am saying that I accept what happened and the reasons - I dont know if I will ever be able to forgive them or me - but I can understand - I guess we all travel our own roads to recovery - all heading in the same direction but finding our own path - I hope you and everyone here finds the right path for you/them - take care P7