Quote:
Originally Posted by wanttoheal
Hi Curiosus, Welcome to PC.  The thing with dissociation is that it's like a million dots on a line and one can be anywhere on that line, in my opinion. I'm glad you have a T to help you through this. Likely, your T is aware that you are dissociating, although it might take a while to figure out how much.
Writing is good, I think, and oftentimes when I can't get information to T, it is written down and handed to her. She reads it herself as sometimes I am too dissociated or mute to read it to her. I think any information you can get to T can help her to help you. If emailing is an option, I'd definitely consider that as well. My T gets a lot of information from emailing, text messaging and journal writing. It helps her to know what's going on here so she can better help me.
Glad you're here and hope to hear more from you.  |
Hey WantToHeal,
Thanks for response!
Yes, my T is aware that I'm dissociating, I think. I'm just terrified to go into this with her, 'cause I don't know what is it that I'm hiding, and what if it comes out, I'd rather chose what I'm sharing, not blurt it out randomly. I'm just afraid I'd blurt out something I'm not aware of, and it might be bad. I understand logically that's what Ts are for, but it's still too scary to to just let myself lose. And, I mean, if I don't let myself lose, it does come out anyway, just at random times. Either way I'm not winning. And the worst part is that it happens outside of therapy, too. Was talking to my mom the other day, she congratulated me on something, I smiled nastily and said, "right, mtf*ing b*". I know I don't like her, but not to an extent to say such things... It's just so inconvenient, so confusing, so frustrating to not be able to control yourself... And yet to be aware of what's happening, witnessing it all... Sorry I'm venting...