God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change........god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change........god grant me the serenity to accept the things I can. To accept that I was raped and there's nothing I can do to take it back.
To change from victime to survivor.
To accept that these people have no power over me.

But I cant. And it hurts and hurts and hurts. Ive run out of tear, Ive run out of anger and all I feel is afraid. Afraid that they'll hurt me and they'll come back and that the memories will get stronger and that it wont just all go away.

But it has to right. Im a survivor not a victim. But why cant I make these damn memories go away, why do I feel there every touch, and hear their every word and see their every smile. Why does it still haunt me.

You have no more power over me you damn bastards but why did you choose me. Was I too pretty or too ugly, did I make you mad, did I make you happy. Why me? But Ill never know, and I refuse to live my life searching for an answer Ill never find.

But I still hurt, no matter how much I hurt and no matter how much I shout and scream I still hurt and the memory still lives on reigning its terror over me.

You damn bastards, you damn damn basterds, how could you, how dare you. And then you look me in the face and pretend like nothing has every happened.

Ill be ok though, I dont have a choice, Im not letting you win. I just wish the memory would go away. I just wish I would hurt less. But dont worry, I'll be ok....as long as there is a tomorrow.