Quote:
Originally Posted by skeksi
My T has told me, many times, that this is never going to go away. That some parts of the PTSD will never leave me--I've just had them for too long, they've become part of me and can't be undone. Every time I nod, and I understand--intellectually.
But some part of me really believes that no, someday I am going to wake up and be like everybody else. I'm not going to be afraid of being touched, and I'm not going to jump ten miles when there's a loud noise, and I'm not going to get flashbacks any more.
And then something sets me off, and I have a little storm of these awful memories, and it's like a kick in the teeth: I'm never going to escape from this. It's not fair.
I'm not whining, I'm really not. It's just frustrating. How will I know when I'm as better as I'm going to get?
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((skeksi))
jme, but no it doesn't go away completely
mine morphed into an acceptance that no longer destroys most of the peace I've worked hard to get and to keep...I do have an occasional flash of rage/moment of fear, however they do not drain my energy.
in another reply, you mentioned decreasing episodes. I agree with P7 that it shows hope and awareness that you are making progress.
I wanted to have 4.5 hours of therapy, be healed, and solve the worlds' problems...I'm not known for my patience
Once I settled in to therapy, though, I understood that years of abuse were not going to be easy and fast to get beyond them. The word
time became like the f word to me...a four letter expletive.
Having to be around the abuser, whether it's a holiday or not, is going to strain your feelings...is there any way you can limit contact?
Please take care of you-First.
Cap
__________________
The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve.
~~unknown~~
http://capp.psychcentral.net