oh EM.. i never come to read the boards much anymore.. not since changing my name/account.. lost all my posts, my history, the knwoledge that people knew me, just felt safer and warmer

i'm sorry i didn't know that you needed help

we love you here... people love you in your RL world too... you aren't that kid with only a few people to look to for help.. and like you said, no point right? It wasn't YOU see.. that is the point now, it was never you. You understood that intellectually bc we grow to know that the adults are the ones with the supposedly adult brains and power... but we were kids and we internalize that idea that we are the masters of our world, responsible for everything and it is our fault when people don't help or love or care

maybe you just got it on a feeling level that you are worthy of compassion and love and help?

is a shock, yeah? (yeah)

that feeling side never got what your thinking side figured out... the acceptance and everything is filtering down... GOOD!!!!

you deserve every ounce of it

hard to wrap our head around tho

i am so glad that you have your t... so glad there are people in your life who are behaving like most people really do... responding to cries for help instead of whatever dumb-**** response you got from the %$#@! who were "there" when you were little... my T says these are "formative" experiences.. reparenting experiences.

i'm sorry that it makes me mad.. but it does.. i get mad that people, even good kind parents, can be so stupid as to not realize that that little person in their care is learning how the world works based on what those adults are doing... little things, big things.. doesn't matter.. it's the stuff you build who you are with and they are often just CLUELESS about that... even good people. Makes me mad... and sad... for little earthmamma. Want to rescue her... rescue me too... it's ok to cry when you see the love now... is ok.

but... we aren't little now.. and you're right... it's hope... bright light, not darkness. We got people to teach us.

so happy for big earthmamma - love you chicklette