I've come to believe that there's no rhyme or reason for some things - they just are. I think I've always known that on some level, but could not accept it.

I tried a lot of things to make it go away but it didn't go away...it hasn't gone away! It's part of who I am. What I was angry about, still get angry about is not having control during the moments of abuse. Those moments are gone, never to be lived again except in my mind.

What I had during those moments was the capacity to survive. I've been told that is a pretty incredible ability. I can see it in others and I read it in your words.

Hang in there and keep posting.