everything is just so hard

so hard

he tries to make me suffer and he succeeds, just not how he thinks

he thinks i can't or won't have another relationship

he thought i'd feel sad that he had a gf.. no, i feel sad that he won't stf-up about it to me. i don't care already... enough.. only he and maybe amoeba don't understand why it's not appropriate to call to talk to me about her and her problems

he doesn't respect me or my boundaries

i don't know that he even really truly understands that i am a seperate person

always trying to rattle me.... threats if i move in a way he objects to

i feel better when i dont hear from him (big clue) and worse when i do but i dont have full control over whether i deal with him or not - yet. i'm working on it

it's affected everything... i am unable to deal with people or stuff i need to do..

i'm struggling with issues in friendships too.. struggling with everything it seems. This has sucked so much of my life out of me

i've been seeking legal advice... but it's slow getting in to see the legal aid people... slow slow slow. They don't have to put up with this in the meantime.

i dont think he can really contest a petition at this point... idk for sure tho

i need an emotional rest